Forget It!

Forget It!

by C.R. Tyronne (a homeschooled student)

Sched-ule: n 1.  A written outline of events and times.  2.  A student's program of classes.  3.  A timetable of departures and arrivals.  

Now, from my experience, I have concluded that this composite definition was created by people who were not homeschooled.  Or, even related to homeschoolers.  I have therefore, set out to re-define the noun "schedule" to alleviate the anxiety of mothers who believe they are the only ones who can't seem to adhere to their schedules.  

You understand, I'm sure, how it goes.  Around the middle of August, you realize that school will be starting soon and search through last year's files to locate the previously failed schedules.  With those in hand, you determine what you're going to alter and create the perfect school day.  You cut an activity, change piano lessons from Wednesday to Friday, set dinner at six and breakfast at eight, and plan a month's worth of dinners.  

Prepared for everything, you start Monday morning sharply at nine.  By lunch, you've helped John, Jim, and Jill through math, reading, writing, and spelling.  James and Joe quickly complete their subjects with little assistance, but then lunch takes fifteen minutes over its allotted time slot, and horrors!  You're off by a quarter of an hour.  To make up for lost time, you scrunch history, and throw science in just before three.

Tuesday morning is thrown off with a power-outage, and Joe is fuming because his research paper on the computer was erased from the resulting power surge.  Jill colors on the wall, and the dog shreds John's favorite blanket, which sets him screaming.    Losing your temper, you demand that James watch the baby while you scrub the wall, and Joe starts over.  It's good practice for life.

Waking up Wednesday morning, you realize that you totally forgot about the dentist appointment that you scheduled six months ago, and scramble to get everyone in the car for the forty-minute drive into the city.  Arriving back home at eleven, you throw together lunch and tell the kids to get whatever they can done while you put the baby down for a nap.  Waking up at five, you fly into the kitchen to make dinner and find Jim floating boats in the overflowing sink...

Sched-ule: n 1.  The paper that never gets looked at once it's written.  2.  A program of classes that is ignored daily.  3.  A timetable of departures and arrivals that is constantly violated.